


With Hands So Cold

by Rainydaysdaydream



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, holy fucking hell there's so much angst I'm sorry, i broke my own heart writing this, spoilers for route C/D
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 00:51:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15401319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainydaysdaydream/pseuds/Rainydaysdaydream
Summary: And a heart so warm. How many times must she lose him? How many times must she kill him?A collection of moments between 2B and 9S from the first assignment they have to his last battle.





	With Hands So Cold

_You’re a soldier. You take pride in your service._

The words echoed through her head as she followed 9S through the dense redwood forest. He looked...off. His movements were jerkier and he seemed to wrestle with himself. Her face remained emotionless and stoic and her body language unreadable.

“2B?” he asked. “I think there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“What is it?”

“It’s about the mission.”

There was tension in her now, and she felt her jaw clench slightly. Her pod was silent, ever faithful as it followed her as it was programmed to do. 9S was silent now.

“If you have information about the mission, it would be wise to share it in order to increase efficiency.”

He stopped walking and turned to face her. His mouth was twisted in a frown. Then, he lifted his hands and removed his visor, letting it drop to the forest floor.

“I was looking through the archives in the bunker,” he said. “And I found some really worrying stuff. There were all these things about how humans don’t exist anymore? None of it makes sense.”

She reached for her weapon.

“I’m sorry,” she said simply.

It was over in a heartbeat.

“Unit 2B to Operator 6O. Patch me through to the Commander please, on the most secure line.”

“Oh! Okay 2B. I’m on it!”

She stared at the motionless body, a strange sensation welling within her. With only a slight twitch of her fingertips, she turned away.

 _Emotions are prohibited_.

•§•§•§•

She saw him next in the bunker for the next assignment.

“Hey. I’m Unit 9S. Most of my missions have been solo scouting work, so it’ll be nice to work with a partner this time!”

She stayed silent. Perhaps it was the easy, friendly openness that he displayed everywhere, or the naturally bright smile on his face that made her want to take a few steps backwards.

_He doesn’t remember me. They wiped that part of his data._

The realization made her feel odd, uncomfortable. She nodded, and then turned to stride off in the direction of the Commander.

“Wait up!”

The call elicited something in her that made her feel warm.

 _Emotions are prohibited_.

•§•§•§•

“What do you think of the old tech of the world?”

 _Mindless chatter is unnecessary_ , she was about to say, but the curiosity on his face stopped her.

“I think it’s a testament of how far we’ve come and all the progress that’s been made,” she replied instead.

“Really?” he asked, grinning. “I think it’s really cool. Maybe it’s not as refined as what we have, but it’s a lot more creative.”

She found herself smiling a little, her voice warmer.

 _Emotions are prohibited_ , she reminded herself.

•§•§•§•

“2B? What are you doing?”

He took a step back, hand clenched around his own sword.

“I’m sorry, 9S,” she said, and charged towards him.

“Stop!” he cried as he blocked her attack. “Why are you doing this? I don’t understand!”

She gritted her teeth and pushed harder, then leapt back to ready herself to strike again. There was an emotion stirring in her that made her gut clench and her chest ache with something she couldn’t name.

_I’m a soldier._

She rushed forwards with a yell and plunged her sword into his chest and he fell, eyes still covered by his visor.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. The words echoed back at her in the canyon where no one would hear. Dead machines lay scattered around her, and a dead android with them. With that same heavy feeling in her core, she lifted his body and went to contact Command.

•§•§•§•

“Wanna do something while we wait for Command to contact us?” he asked, bouncing on his toes.

She looked at him in confusion.

“Leaving the area would lower mission efficiency,” she said. “If Command were to call us while we were away from the base we set up, it would take time to walk back and receive the data that they send us.”

“Aw, c’mon 2B! We won’t go that far. We could just go fishing outside the base!”

She hesitated, and he clasped his hands in front of him.

“Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaase?” he asked, drawing out the word.

She felt her lips twitch upwards in a smile at that, and nodded.

“Okay. Let’s go fishing.”

She sat by him on the grass while he cast his pod out into the water, and watched the sunlight glint off the waves and the fish. A light breeze was blowing through the area and ruffled her hair gently, rustling the leaves. She looked around, realizing that she hadn’t taken the time to really appreciate the new area they’d been assigned to. The river rushed along the rocks and she found the sound to be pleasant and calming to her ears. She leaned back and let herself lay down and stare up at the canopy of leaves that hung above them, noting how the sunlight turned them emerald green and how their shadows dappled the ground, and the way rays of light streamed in through the small opening and onto the water below.

 _6O would like this_ , she mused.

“Pod, take a picture of the area.”  
  
“Affirmative.”

“What’s that for?” 9S asked, breaking her stream of thoughts.

“Just sending data back to Command for Operator 6O,” she said.

He laughed.

“You know, you don’t have to make it sound so formal. You’re a good friend, 2B.”

On reflex, she nearly reprimanded him, but stopped as the words sunk in. _Friend_ , she thought. _Not just a soldier, but a friend_.

“Thank you, Nines.”

She smiled and let a small sigh of contentment escape her.

•§•§•§•

“Hey, uh, 2B. I found some really weird data while I was looking through the archives—”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and then it was only her standing alone at the top of the mountain, the blood of a friend staining her blade. She blinked back tears. _A good friend_ , he’d called her. Bitterly, she wondered if friends could be executioners. A hollowness was filling her as she stared at him, and a single tear managed to escape before she wiped at it harshly.

_Emotions are prohibited._

The words were empty, echoing inside her with no meaning, just a phrase she’d recited for months. She gasped as a small sob left her and turned away from him, unable to bear looking at his motionless body which had always been full of life and energy, something she desperately wished to see again—

_I’m a soldier. I take pride in my service._

•§•§•§•

“Say, 2B, what do you think of having a partner?”

“As a combat model, being paired with a scanner allows for my team to be much more versatile and well-rounded, thus increasing mission efficiency. A scanner model like yourself is built to be more observant than I, a combat model, am. Your skill for spotting smaller details minimizes the amount of time we spend searching for things.”

“Well, yeah, but how do you _feel_ about it?”

“Emotions are prohibited.”

There was an edge of harshness to her voice that she wasn’t sure he heard, and she didn’t turn around to check.

•§•§•§•

There were in another clearing, tapping trees for their sap. 9S reclined against a large oak, staring contentedly up into the sky. There was a soft smile on his face and her heart— _I don’t even have one_ , she thought hysterically—twinged.

“This is Operator 6O for your regularly scheduled contact.”

“2B here, nothing to report.”

She hated the way her feelings crept into her voice, especially to _her_ of all people, the one who’d been beside her for years with her bright and beautiful emotions that paralleled his so perfectly and she wondered bitterly if she’d ever have a chance to show them both how much she lo—

“Are you alright? You sound upset. Should I fetch the Commander? Come on 2B, you know you can tell me any—”

“2B out.”

“Hey 2B? You seem kinda tense.”

She clenched her fists again and turned away to face the sprawling undergrowth.

“I’m fine. Just a little on edge from our last fight.”

“Are you sure? Y’know, if you ever want to talk—”

“ _Emotions are prohibited_ ,” she snapped.

He fell silent after that.

•§•§•§•

“2B please just listen to me!” he yelled as he sprung back to dodge her.

She screamed and swung at him again and again, throwing herself into the battle. She hated the way her eyes were stinging and how she felt like every sound she made was being ripped from her and slicing her throat open, how she was drowning in grief and despair, gasping desperately for air.

“Stop fighting!”

He sidestepped her and tried to knock her weapon from her hand. She hated how he wasn’t fighting back. She hated the concern on his face where there should’ve been fear, the feeling that traveled up from her hand where he’d touched it all the way to her very core and _burned_ her.

“ENOUGH!” she roared, and lunged forward.

His eyes widened, and the visor fell away, sliced in two. The sun caught his face and she saw tears streaking down his cheeks.

“You don’t understand!” she screamed, launching a new flurry of slashes. She caught his arm, slicing it open viciously, and then his leg, and then the side of his face. “No one understands! No one stops! NO ONE STOPS! NO—”

—he nicked her arm and looked horrified—

“—ONE—”

—she dodged and lunged again—

“—STOPS!!!”

—her sword plunged deep into his chest and he twitched once, twice, looked her straight in the eyes, reached his hand towards her as though to touch her face, and fell back, the light dimming from his own eyes. She pulled her sword and he hit the ground. Metal clanged against the rocks as she fell too, uncaring of the blood that stained her clothes as she wept.

“I’m sorry!” she cried. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

Sobs wracked her body. She gripped the fabric of his shirt, remembering when she’d told him it was stylish, and wept for how he would forget that, how he would forget her all over again, when he’d called her a good friend, when he’d smiled at her by the river, every single moment they’d spent together erased, gone, held only within her, trapped in her mind.

She lunged for her sword and stood, then screamed and slashed at the tall grass all around her.

“Why?!” she yelled. “What is this for?! Are you punishing me?! Is this the price I’m paying for my past mistakes?! What did I do?!”

Her blade cut through the plant life cleanly, much too cleanly, and she couldn’t help but think it was clean cut and cold and ruthless just like how she’d treated everyone, _emotions are prohibited_ —

“GIVE HIM BACK!”

She drove the sword into the ground and gripped it, sobbing violently

•§•§•§•

She blinked her eyes open in the bunker. The cool gray tones were familiar and comforting to her and she closed her eyes again for a moment before remembering. _Oh right_ , she thought. _We were gather sap to upgrade some of the pods, and then...then we went out to the field…_

She frowned at the gap in her memory, and rose, stretching and flexing, and then made her way to Command.

“Ah. I see you’re awake. You were out in the meadow just beyond the woods when the machines launched a surprise attack on you and unit 9S. Your bodies were both destroyed. Your next assignment is to meet with the YoRHa units in the hanger. There, the leader of the squad will fill you in on the mission.”

She nodded, and made to leave to rendezvous with the other units, but stopped when the commander called out to her again.

“2B. I’m sorry."

She looked at the commander, searching for something in her eyes, but what, even she couldn’t quite place her finger on.

“We’re soldiers,” she said after a beat. “We take pride in our service.

•§•§•§•

“I must have been corrupted when Eve detached from the network…”

“No…”

Her heart was breaking again, she was going to lose him again, she couldn’t—

“It’s okay. I can always reload my backup data from the bunker.”

He didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand, not the way she did.

“But you’ll lose you. The you that exists at this very moment.”

Desperation clawed its way up her throat and forced itself out of her mouth.

“But we can’t upload this corrupted data to the Bunker, so...please, 2B...I want you...to do this...for me...”

He was asking her this time. He was cruel, oh so cruel, and in that moment white hot anger seared her veins, then faded away to an empty numbness that left her cold, as cold as the metal of the machines. She leaned over him and cupped his cheeks and swore she saw him smile at her for a moment, before her hands traveled down over his neck. His eyes never left hers, and in them she thought she saw him reassuring her, just as he would any other time with a gentle smile and a quip that made her want to grin.

She tightened her grip and pushed him down against the earth, straining. His hand came up to touch her side, fingers brushing against the velvet of her dress, and she squeezed her eyes shut. It fell away and hit the ground with a thud, and he moved no more. She knelt over him, panting, and then the tears came, hot and thick and blinding her as she collapsed onto him and sobbed.

“It always ends like this.”

•§•§•§•

A2 stared at him, one hand on her weapon, and the other one clenched by her side. For a moment, two voices, not one, spoke.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, but the words were hardly more than a breath and they vanished into nothingness before they could reach his ears. She closed her eyes, raised her sword, and felt a pulse of grief that wasn’t quite hers, before a deadly calm fell over the pair, and the remnants of YoRHa fell.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I wrote this in a bit of a rush and it's unbeta-ed so please excuse any mistakes. This was an idea that just popped into my head a year after I beat the game, and I leapt on it in the few hours I had before an appointment. I hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please comment because I live off of them.


End file.
